Aftermath
by Starship T.A.R.D.I.S
Summary: The ruins of love from the ashes of the Battle of Five Armies.
1. Chapter 1

There he was. Lying on the table in excruciating pain, the orc arrow in his leg. He was dying. I knew I couldn't let that happen. I wouldn't say it was love at first sight, but when I first spoke to him, I felt a spark. I could tell he felt it too. I had never felt something like that before, but I knew it was wrong. I knew that the connection we had was something that would lead to my death. I knew I couldn't stop it. I am Tauriel, and this is my story.

It was any other day. Spider patrol, as usual. Same as it had been for hundreds of years, until today. There were dwarves fighting the spiders. This was highly unusual. Unless dwarves had suddenly become our allies in the hours since Legolas, myself, and our patrol had left the Great Hall, these dwarves were enemies. We treated them as such. Thranduil would be curious as to why there were dwarves in Mirkwood, as was I.

They were going to reclaim Erebor. None had been there in centuries, which to we elves was no time at all but to mortals, it was practically forever. They had good reason for it, as in the mountain resided not simply gold and gems of starlight but a dragon as well. That was why Thranduil imprisoned them, so they would not free a dragon's wrath upon the world. I was almost glad for it. I had never seen a dwarf before, and was rather curious. The one called Kili seemed as curious about elves as I was about dwarves. Long into the night, we exchanged tales and stories of the wonders that we had seen, of skies lit aflame with stars and other wonders. We grew to know each other through talk. I almost forgot that he was a prisoner and I a guard. I saw us, living proof that dwarves and elves could be friends, not enemies as Thranduil and many other elves saw them. And indeed, by the end of the night, I would consider us friends. He knew my past, how my village had been destroyed as Legolas and his patrol arrived too late to save anyone but me. He knew I joined the Guard to prevent that from happening to others. I knew his past, how he had had lived in the Blue Mountains, how he grew close with his brother after their father died. I knew he looked up to Fili, how he strived to be like him. In short, we became friends. I knew we could be more then friends.

That was why, when I went to Laketown, why I stayed. Legolas commanded me to come, but I could not force myself to follow his commands. I knew I would never meet another like Kili again, even in the thousands of years that I might live. I had to stay, and save him. That I did.

I was not sure if he felt as I did. That is, until he asked if I could love him. I could love him, and I did. He saw in me what I saw in him, saw that none of us would be content with another. We were married in Laketown, in secret under the stars. We knew none would accept us, accept that we loved each other. We knew this, and so did not ask for acceptance. We loved each other, and that was what mattered. If only it lasted.

That fateful day when waves of goblins, orcs and wargs came to fight for the Lonely Mountain, we stood together. He got swept away from me, in the raging tides of battle. He fought alongside Thorin, defending his fallen uncle. I could not focus on him any more, I had to concentrate on the circle of foul creatures that had surrounded me, and swiftly dispatched them one by one. I looked once more for Kili. I saw where he went. He went where I could not follow, to the depths of the Halls of Mandos. I screamed, a cry of anguish and a broken heart. I knew he was dead. I felt the connection we shared break. We had so short a time together, so short, so short! My whirling spiral of thought was broken by pain. I cried out, and looked up. An orc had taken advantage of my distracted state to cut my left side open. I was a soldier, no stranger to blood, but seeing the white bone of my ribcage disorientated me. The orc prepared to swing again, when suddenly an arrow pierced its skull and it fell. It was Legolas.

He said, his voice urgent. In the course of the battle I had acquired several other various cuts and gashes, and by his expression, I wasn't in the best of health. I attempted to take a step, then nearly collapsed. Legolas merely picked me up, and carried me in his arms to the nearest healer he could find. I do not remember much after that, everything was disorientated by the haze and blur of pain.

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A/N

Hi! This is my first ship fic, except it's not really a ship fic, as one person is already dead. Cheery! I generally don't write romance stuff, but this idea popped into my head a few days ago and I couldn't seem to shake it, so I decided to write it, though romance is not really my thing. Let me know what you think by reviewing, favoriting and following! In any case, you'll soon be finding out about the fate of our red-headed friend in the next chapter, which will be coming in a few days! Disclaimer: I own nothing, and I'm doing this for fun and for reviews (hint, hint).

Starship T.A.R.D.I.S. out!


	2. Chapter 2

I awoke to dazzling sunlight. It burnt my eyes as I blinked a few times. I felt a pain in my side as my hand brushed the bandages where the orc had sliced cut me. I felt dizzy as I suddenly remembered everything. Kili's death. Feeling our connection snap like a broken bone, feeling the pain as though it was a physical part of me. My near fatal injury. Legolas, sprinting away carrying me to find a healer. It was too much, and I fell back into oblivion.

The next time I woke it was dark. I tried not to remember the battle, it was too painful. I looked up. A healer was leaning over me.

"Welcome back to the world of the living. I'm Sanwen" She said with a kind smile. I took this to mean that I had nearly died. "We knew we could save you, we just weren't sure we could save the child." She said.

"What child?" I asked, rather confused. I had not seen any children on the battlefield, and I prayed to the Valar that there weren't any.

"Your child." She said, furthering my confusion. I did not have any children, and would not, now that Kili was...I could barely bring myself to even think the word. Dead.

"What do you mean?" I questioned.

"You don't know?" She said, taking my silence for a no. "Tauriel..." she paused. "You're pregnant."

"Wha...what?!" I exclaimed, hardly believing it. Kili and I were only together like that once! How could this happen?! How did I not know this before! I would have never fought in the battle had I known...I would not have risked losing the child. I was at once terrified and ecstatic at the same time. Some had known about Kili and I. I would be publicly shamed if anyone knew...the things they would say...I was overwhelmed.

"Yes." She confirmed. I slowly brought my hand to my abdomen, which was slightly swollen. I could almost feel it, the new life within me. There were so many questions, all needing to be asked. I hadn't been around babies in hundreds of years, indeed, I not since my entire family was slaughtered by orcs when I was an elfling. I had no knowledge of what I was going to to, nor what I had to do. I could not fight while pregnant, I would not risk the child. It was bad enough that I had already fought in one battle.

"Sit up, I need to clean your wound." The healer instructed. I did as she instructed, or rather tried. I became extremely dizzy when I sat up, so I ended up sitting propped up on my arms while she went through the excruciating process of cleaning my wound. Unfortunately, the process was a long one, and when fresh herbs were applied it hurt almost as much as getting the wound in the first place.

"How long have I been..." I didn't know whether to say unconscious or asleep or merely dead to the world.

"Two weeks." was the healer's prompt response. Kili and I had been together about a week before the battle so I would be around three weeks pregnant. "Why do you ask?"

"Just...wondering." I said. She started to make mindless chatter about my injury. Apparently, I would usually walking around and mostly healed, but it seemed the pregnancy had slowed the process. She said that the child might have been harmed, and that my body was trying to heal both of us. I was terrified that it might be injured due to my idiocy. Apparently, Thranduil had noticed that his captain of the guard was still wounded, and was wondering why. She told me that she told him, and I was stunned. There would be questions, as intimacy outside of marriage was practically never practised. I was terrified. Who would I blame? Would I have to tell the truth? I would become an outcast if this were so. My mind was reeling from the discovery of my pregnancy. I wanted to avoid any probing questions about my condition. What would happen?

The painful process was at an end at last. The healer left the room, and left me to my thoughts, of which there were many. What was I to do? Where would I go? The endless storm of questions whirled through my head. I was alone, no family to guide or aid me, no Kili to be with me. I was clueless, afraid, and alone. I drifted off to sleep with my head awhirl.


	3. Chapter 3

When I woke, I was not alone. There was someone with me here, not the healer. I turned my head and saw a familiar face: Legolas.

"You're awake." He said.

"Obviously." I said, with a slight smile.

"They weren't sure if you would make it." He said, looking at me intensely. I gulped. Could he tell?

"Well, I did, thanks to you." I said. He bowed his head in acknowledgement.

"How are you feeling?" He said.

"Most of the smaller wounds have healed, however, the one in my side has not." I said, gesturing to my bandages side.

"That's good." He said, and paused. "Tauriel...at Laketown...you stayed. Why?"

"He was heir to the throne. I saved his life. He owed me a life-debt, and gratitude. That could be useful, someday." The lies flowed through my mouth with ease. I had plenty of time to come up with an excuse while bedridden. I kept the real reason why I saved him, that I loved him, secret. He seemed to accept the lies. All the better for me. This was the first time I had tried that excuse.

"On the battlefield...you were distracted. You practically let yourself get hurt? Why?" He inquired.

"I got distracted." I said. He had given me the answer.

"Yes, I know, but why were you distracted?" He again questioned me.

"I guess..." I paused. "There were so many enemies, and I knew I couldn't take them all on, I didn't want anyone to die...I got overwhelmed." I again spouted a mouthful of lies. I saw Kili fall, and I knew he was gone. I couldn't take that. He seemed to accept it. That was all the questions he had. Instead, we just talked, about who had fought well in battle, who had died an honourable death, and who was a coward and ran away. It made me queasy. I didn't want to remember the battle, didn't want to remember Kili's death.

"My lord, you must leave, I need to change her bandages." The healer had returned. She shooed Legolas out and helped me prop myself up on my elbows again to replace the herbs.

"It's looking a bit better." She said. "I suppose the visit did you some good." She said, in a way that made me think she thought Legolas and I were more but friends.

"Yes, it was good to see a friend and comrade again. I did not know who lived or died after the battle." I said, discouraging these sort of thoughts, remembering Thranduil's warning. It would not do to have rumours spread.

"Your husband hasn't visited you then?" She asked, obviously curious.

"'He..." I could barely say the word. "died in the battle." I couldn't keep the tears back anymore. I had to admit that he was dead, but I didn't want to. I had so few memories of him! I wanted to remember him alive, well, happy, and with me! Not as a bloodied corpse on a battlefield! I started sobbing. The healer tried to comfort me, but I couldn't be comforted. I just had to get it all out. The healer stayed for a while, then had to go tend to someone else. I cried myself to sleep, and dreamt of Kili.

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	4. Chapter 4

I was weak. By the time the gaping hole in my side had healed, I had been bedridden for over a month. My muscles had been significantly weakened by my time of apathy. It was hard even for me to walk, but I had to: Thranduil had summoned me to his chambers. I was extremely nervous. He knew of the pregnancy. He would think that I was not married, and would demand to know who the father was. I would have to tell him, he was the king. If that happened...I would be an outcast. I entered his rooms

. "Hello Captain." He said, acknowledging my presence.

"My lord." I said, bowing my head.

"I am glad to see you well. The men had been wondering where you were." He said.

"I am glad to know they cared so much." I said.

"It comes as no surprise. You fought with them for many years, and undoubtedly saved their life at one time or another." He stated. I wondered if he was avoiding the subject of my pregnancy. It was not all that noticeable, my stomach was swollen only the slightest bit.

"Thank you." I said. "Healer Sanwen told me that you were pregnant, and that was why you took so long to heal. Is this true?" He asked with an inquisitive tone.

"Yes...I believe so. She told me that I was pregnant when I woke up after the battle. I do not know if it affected my rate of healing. My wound was quite severe." I said. He nodded, taking in the information.

"Who is the father?" He suddenly blurted out.

"You will not be expecting a grandchild anytime soon, if that is what you are worried about." I said, meaning that the father was not Legolas.

"If not Legolas, then who? Surely not one of the men under your command." He said with a mixture of relief and disapproval.

"None of them either." I said, confirming his statement. "Then who?" He asked, obviously not going to be content until he knew the father. I stayed silent for a while, thinking. If I told him that the father was Kili, then he would not be pleased, and I may lose my command. However, I already confirmed that it was none of the men under my command, and I didn't usually talk to many people outside of the Guard due to my busy workload. Eventually, I came up with a question.

"Why does it matter to you? You are not carrying the child, and I am not related to you in anyway." I said. I only appeared to make him angry.

"It matters because you are the Captain of the Forest Guard. I cannot have a pregnant guard member, especially the captain! You are supposed to lead the men, instead you will have to stay behind! The guard was a mess when you were...otherwise occupied." He said with distaste lingering in the air. I knew he meant when I went to Laketown.

"My lord, I did what I had to do. The evil surround our lands is unceasing and we are only defending ever-shrinking borders! What—" He cut me off. "I will not take insolence. You are dismissed." He said, his voice hard. I walked out of the room, head bowed in shame. I had avoided betraying Kili's and my secret, but at what cost? Was I to be declared insubordinate and stripped of my rank? I walked to my room, full of questions.

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Hi! I just want to give a shoutout to Borys86, PopsShows23, LouphiaTheHobbit, and an anonymous Guest for reviewing! Review my precioussss... Starship T.A.R.D.I.S. out!


	5. Chapter 5

The next day, I woke to a tapping on my door. I jumped out of bed, afraid that I had overslept on my first day back on the job, after all, I hadn't officially been fired. I opened the door, wondering who it was. It was Legolas, dressed in court attire. Was I to escort a prisoner to the throne room?

"Tauriel, my father wishes you come to court today." He said, looking at me quizzically. I looked at my clothes, then realized that I had my nightshirt on.

"Am I to escort a prisoner, or..." My voice trailed off.

"He wishes to speak to you." Legolas said. King Thranduil...speaking to me in front of the entire court...this was either good or bad. Based on our conversation yesterday, I'd go with bad.

"When?" I said.

"As soon as possible. Court dress." He said, anticipating my question before I even asked it.

"Give me five minutes." I said, and closed the door. I hurriedly walked to my closet, found my dress uniform and ceremonial blades, put it all on and rebraided my hair. Looking in the mirror, I saw that my pregnancy was nonobvious. Good. I would prefer to keep it hidden from as many people as possible. I surveyed my rather messy room, and gave it one last look as I closed the door four and a half minutes later.

"That was fast." Legolas remarked.

"I've learned to change quickly." I said, and we both laughed, remembering the many times I had been late to training due to armor that wasn't made to fit the female body.

"Tauriel..." his voice took a serious turn. "My father is not pleased with your resent actions. I fear you may be stripped of your rank."

"As do I." I confirmed, my voice serious as well. "And I believe I know why." I didn't give him time to ask why, we had sparse moments as it was. "For one, I went to Laketown without orders, and" I took a deep breath. I hadn't told anyone this before. "I am pregnant." His face reflected the shock that he felt. He had know about Kili and I.

"With..." he started.

"Yes." I confirmed

"Tauriel...he is dead." Legolas said.

"I know." I once again confirmed his statement.

"You will be shamed, publicly! Why would you do such a thing with him!" His voice has hushed, but urgent.

"We both did not know of the battle brewing. We were in love. We thought we might run away to Bree or somewhere far away if it was prohibited." I explained.

"You should not have thought such nonsense." His voice was hard, and it was clear he would have no sympathy towards me whatever happened in the close-approaching throne room.

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Two updates! On the same story! In the matter of hours! Shocker! I thought I'd leave you guys with a bit of a cliffhanger here since I might not be able to update for the next few days or so, and I figured why not have a small cliffhanger! The next chapter is the longest yet in the story, and probably will remain so. I don't want to give away many details, but major things happen. Major. As in deciding-the-entire-course-of-the-story major. See you then! Starship T.A.R.D.I.S. out!


	6. Chapter 6

I stood before Thranduil. Legolas continued up onto the dais and whispered something in his father's ear. I couldn't hear what he said with the noise of everyone in the court talking at once swarming over my head, though I tried. Thranduil turned his gaze from Legolas, who was standing at his side, to me. I stared back at him, and noticed some of the members of my Guard standing around the edges of the room. Why were they there? The Royal Guard usually dealt with matters in the throne room. There was no time for questions. Thranduil silenced the crowd by merely raising a hand. Silence fell upon the room.

"You are Tauriel, of the Forest Guard, correct." Thranduil stated. It was not a question, but I responded anyways.

"Yes, my lord." I said.

"Do you deny that you refused to follow my orders that no one was to leave the Hall?" He questioned me.

"I do not. I did indeed leave the Hall, for it is our duty as immortal Elves to aid the mortal men when they are faced by our enemies because we are too cowardly to face them ourselves!" I stated firmly. There was a murmur running through the crowd. None had dared challenge the Elvenking in such a manner before.

"You admit you refused to follow orders. You are dismissed as Captain of the Forest Guard." He said, gesturing for me to hand over my blades. The twin blades were very old, even by our standards. They were passed down from Captain to Captain. I remember getting them from Thranduil when I was enstated as Captain of the Guard. They were usually given, along with the position, to their new owner and the new captain once the former has either died or retired, though it usually ended with death. This...giving up of the blades meant that I was essentially dead to his eyes, and to most people. I refused to be called dead while there was still life in me. I did not hand over the blades. After a tense stand off of me refusing to give them up and Thranduil not wanting to take them, Legolas resolved the issue by walking over to me and talking them. I looked him in the eye and hissed "Traitor." He paid no attention to me. I was stunned. We had fought together for hundreds of years, how could he call me dead?! I prayed to the Valar that this was all some sort of terrible dream. It was not.

"Ainion, son of Dagnion, step forward." Thranduil said. One of the soldiers under my command stepped forward. He appeared nervous.

"My lord." Ainion stepped forward, a question in his voice. Thranduil gave him the blades.

"You are now Captain of the Guard." Thranduil proclaimed. I was shocked. Though a competent soldier and a good man in general, he would not have been my choice for Captain.

"Thank you my lord." Ainion said, bowing. He looked at me with questioning eyes. I was glad to know at least someone questioned what was going on.

"Tauriel." Thranduil said with a piercing tone in his voice to gain back the attention of the court. "I hereby exile you, Tauriel, from Mirkwood for insubordination and consorting with dwarves, our sworn enemies, in such manner to produce a child." He emphasized some of the words, and a collective gasp echoed through the Hall. I looked at Legolas. He would not meet my eyes. I felt betrayed. I told him a secret known only to myself, and he used it against me. I thought I could trust him. I was wrong.

I did not bow my head when the whispers and gasps started. I stared each and every one of them in the eye. Kili and I loved each other, as pure as any love between Elves. If they would not accept that, if they would bow down to old prejudices, then I would not honor them. Kili and I were right to have done what we did. Elves love only once, and Kili was my One. If I only had him for the short time that I did, then so be it. At least I had him.

I proudly held my head up high as I walked out of the throne room. If I was no longer a subject of king Thranduil, them why wait to be dismissed? He had denounced me in front of everyone and anyone who was important here. I had nothing to lose. My men surely lost all respect for me now, as had Legolas. I was alone. I did not mind that. I had been alone before, after my village was destroyed. I was used to it, in a way. I reached my room. I shed the ceremonial armor; I would have no use for it now. I put on my regular clothes, sheathed my blades and restocked my quiver. I gathered the random yet useful items around my sparse room. It all managed to fit into my pockets except for one thing: Kili's promise stone. He gave it to me, as a sort of marriage gift. I carried that right next to my heart, where he was.

I was ready to leave when I heard another knock at the door. It was Legolas. I ignored him. I didn't want to speak to him, not after what he did in the throne room.

"Tauriel!" He said as I walked past him. "Tauriel, wait!" I ignored him still. "Tauriel, I command you to stop!" He said. I stopped, and slowly turned around to face him.

"Have you not heard?" I said, my tone icy. "I am not a subject of Thranduil, and therefore am no subject of yours, nor do I have to follow your orders." With that, I turned on my heel and walked off, leaving him speechless. I visited the kitchens for some lembas, to many stares. Even the servants had heard of my exile. It was no small wonder; exile was the worst form of punishment and happened only rarely. My exile would be gossip for a decade. I did not talk to many people that day. I simply went about my business, and when I was done, I left. I did not say goodbye to anybody. Why not? I was effectively dead.

I walked alone in the forest. I did not go in a particular direction, I just followed the river. While walking, I thought about where I would go, what I would do, all those what-ifs that were possibilities while I lay injured and were a reality now. I could try to go to Erebor, but the dwarves would most likely not accept neither my claims nor I now that Kili was not there to forge a bridge between our two peoples. I could go to Rivendell, but Lord Elrond would not aid me for risk of offending Thranduil. I could go to Laketown, but it would be like a dagger in my heart. Laketown was where I was with Kili, and happy. If neither Elves and Dwarves would take me in, and I could not force myself to stay in Laketown, I would have to go to a town of the race of Men. I decided I would go to Bree. It was where Kili and I had planned to go if things did not work out. Why not go there now? I had no home, and nothing to lose save what I carried within me.

I stopped for a moment by the river, and sat on a nearby rock. It would be hard to get to Bree, as I would have to cross the Misty Mountains. This was no small feat, especially considering my condition. This was not to mention the long distance from the Hall to Bree. However, I had to do it. I had no other options, as there were no other suitable places that were closer. I steeled myself for the long journey ahead, when I heard footsteps. I strung my bow and turned around. It was Legolas. I did not want to speak to him. I was still enraged that he had essentially called me dead in front of anyone who was important. I was rather tempted to shoot him, but ultimately didn't.

"Tauriel." He said softly. I suppose he didn't want to make me mad. It was too late for that.

"What!" I snapped back. I was in no mood for small talk or apologies. I had been on an emotional roller coaster and didn't want to talk to anybody. I had seen my beloved killed, nearly been killed myself, learned that I was pregnant, learned that Kili was dead, and some of my friends had fallen in battle. I had been declared dead and then exiled, not to mention I still felt a gaping hole in my heart for Kili.

"Are you all right?" He asked, his tone still gentle.

"Of course I'm all right, I've only been declared dead and exiled today." I said with a heavy amount of sarcasm in my voice.

"I didn't mean too, I just didn't want anything to happen to you, my father's wrath is a force to be reckoned with, I thought by taking the blades I would maybe help to lessen your punishment." Legolas said.

"You didn't. You declared me dead, while I was still alive and well, you aided in Thranduil exiling me! I thought I could trust you, I thought I could tell you what no one else knew, but you betrayed me, you told your father my secret! I thought I knew you Legolas, after these hundreds of years fighting together!" I yelled angrily. I was fed up with apologies, and Legolas. All I wanted was Kili, but that was never possible, not now, not now that he was dead! "I didn't survive a battle and helplessly watch my One be killed only to be exiled!" I yelled. If I was loud and attracted the attention of enemies, so be it. I didn't care anymore.

"You...Kili...he was your One?" Legolas said in a confused tone.

"Yes! Why else would I go to Laketown, risk the wrath of Thranduil, stay with Kili and marry him!" I said, my words tearing a hole in my heart.

"You...married a dwarf?" Legolas said, still not grasping Kili and I.

"Yes, why else would I become pregnant by him? Would I marry him if I did not love him?" I cried, still frustrated with Legolas.

Legolas appeared to finally grasp Kili and I's relationship.

"You loved him...that was why you stayed...that was why you were so distracted at the battle...you watched him die." Legolas said.

"Yes, that is why! I felt our connection snap!" I said.

"You lied to me." Legolas said.

"Yes, to protect my secret. I did not know who else might be listening in the shadows, and I did not want people to know about Kili and I for I knew this would happen!" I said.

"I can understand that. But I can't understand what you saw in the dwarf, why you would do such a thing with him." He said.

"It is not about looks, nor race for me! Kili has—had a beautiful soul and I, I love him!" I said, and gave into the tears. I sat back down on the rock, and simply cried. Legolas did not make a move towards me, he simply stood stock-still. He knew there were no words that could comfort me. I just needed to cry. I had held my grief in for too long while I was injured and needed to hide that Kili and I were a pair. I needed to let my emotions go, and not hide them anymore. Night soon fell, and I forced myself out of my grief and set up camp. Legolas was long gone, probably left while I was crying. I built a small fire and set up a bedroll. I slept until dawn.

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Hi! So I thought I wasn't going to be able to update for a few days, but I had some unexpected free time today, so you all get the new chapter earlier then expected! Yay! Quick shoutout to PopsShows23 and DEstiny4eva for reviewing! What do you think? Let me now by reviewing, following and favoriting! Starship T.A.R.D.I.S. out!


	7. Chapter 7

I walked. That was all there was to it really. It was mid-december, and the cold was intense. I made sure to keep my flint dry, but without dry wood, there was not a lot I could do in terms of warmth, but I knew I would have to keep myself warm if I did not want to become frostbitten. As I walked, my sadness at becoming exiled turned into anger. I was pregnant with a dwarves' child, true, but it was the middle of winter! How could anybody, even one as cruel as Thranduil, exile a pregnant woman to the wilderness, and how could the entire court simply stand by as I was exiled, them knowing my condition! Perhaps they wished me to die. I do not understand their reasoning. At least wait until spring! If I could not make it to an inn, I would surely die! It was insane, to have survived the battle that claimed the life of my beloved only to die alone in the wilderness, abandoned by my people when I needed them most.

I shivered as I drew my cloak tighter around me. I was at least a week's journey from Old Ford, the nearest town where I might be able to find an inn. I would be able to cross the Anduin river there, assuming it was frozen over. If not, I might have to wait until spring. I would not mind doing that. Travel would be easier then, and not so cold, as it was now, and I would still be able to reach Bree before the child was born. It was going to be dark soon, so I looked around for a small cave, or somewhere to escape from the chilling wind. A few minutes walk from the path there was one, so I looked around for wood, started a fire, and rejoiced in it's warmth, rubbing my hands together to free them of their redness, which nearly matched my hair, despite the thick gloves I had been wearing. I ate lembas for supper, as I had done for every meal since I had left. I hoped I had gotten enough from the kitchens to last for the entirety of my journey, but I had a sack full, and I decided that would be enough when I left. I hoped I was right.

Frostbite, food and fire trumped the list of my worries, but I was still nervous about what I would do once the child was born. I would be weakened for quite some time after the birth, as it was a long and painful process, judging by the screams of my mother when she gave birth to my younger sister, who still lived in our home village. I chose to go to Thranduil's Hall after our parents died, and had lost most contact with her. I wouldn't be welcome there either, the people of my village hated dwarves. I wondered if someone would care to inform her of my exile, or if my infrequent letters would simply stop coming, and she would think me dead. I had little experience with children and babies, as soon after her birth, our parents were killed. She stayed with relatives, and I was sent to the Hall, because no one wanted me, as I had quite the reputation for being a troublemaker, a player of harmless pranks, but still, no one wanted me. I had essentially been isolated from all domestic work at the Hall, as I was told that I would train to be a soldier, and soldiers did not do housework. As such, I could only cook the skimpiest of meals, and learned to sew only through stitching up wounds from swordplay. I didn't even know how to hold a child! I wished Kili was with me. He would find some way to make me laugh, and we would go at this unknown together. But he wasn't. I was alone.

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Hi! Sorry I haven't updated for a while, my robotics team had our first regional of the season! We didn't move on, but we had an awesome final match, and it was really fun! HUGE shoutout to Borys68 for helping me with all the little details about traveling in Middle Earth! Can't thank them enough! Chapter eight won't be up for a few days, as I have to rewrite it and I'm going to another regional in a few weeks, and will be rather busy with the bot! Remember to review, favourite and follow! Starship T.A.R.D.I.S. out!


	8. Chapter 8

After crossing the Forest I reached the ford over the Anduin. It was currently impassable due to the ice floes flowing amidst the ruins of an ancient bridge. I found a nearby inn, run by a couple of the race of Men – Ragnar and Bergdis – as I learnt later. It wasn't much to look at but was warm and there were other travellers there. Most appeared to be traders, Dwarrow and of the Race of Man, looking to make a profit in far-off lands once the snows melted. I idly wondered whether they were stranded as I was, or were they resting before the next leg of their journey to Laketown – or maybe – a pang of pain – to Erebor? As I entered the inn most of them stopped and stared at me. I wondered why but then realized that this was probably the first time they had set eyes on one of the First Born. I ignored them and attended to my business with the innkeeper.

"Greetings." I said quietly.

"At your service. Do you wish a room?" The innkeeper said, anticipating my question.

"Yes, if you have one to spare." I said, hoping the inn was not full.

"Aye, I do. You'll be staying until the freeze sets in?" - He asked. It wasn't really a question. I knew it would take a while for the snow to harden or the river to freeze as in the past I had followed the passage of traders through the forest along the Old Dwarf Road.

"Yes." I said.

"That'll be two silver pieces for a sennight, for them room and meals. Winter should set in well and proper by then." – he explained.

I handed over the money and he showed me to my room. I took off my cloak, settled my things, then sat down on the bed. I had not brought anything with me, not anticipating a delay, so I had nothing to do. It was a strange feeling for me as I usually was always busy – being the captain of the guard was a demanding position. I went down to the common room as I did not wish to be alone with my thoughts. That would only serve to break my heart as these doubtlessly would drift to Kili.

Some of the patrons who stared before continued to do so as now, uncloaked, it was evident that I was an elleth. They made heroic efforts to pretend that they were NOT gaping at me, however. I knew from my visits to Laketown that the Race of Man ascribed all sorts of fey abilities to my race so they kept their distance. I chose a place where I could not see the Dwarrow – I had enough heartache without ripping scabs off my wounds. Even if their glares had been comparable with Thorin's. So I was able to brood quietly, weary from the week long trek across the Forest and drained from the events of what happened a week previously - my exile, to be specific.

The innkeepers mate – Bergdis, I learned at that point, brought food to my table. Overcoming her circumspection towards my kind she asked me what is a woman on her own doing out on the road at a time like this. And was this normal for my kind? Learning that I was on my way West she was surprised. Didn't I know that the passes were blocked by snow for a month now? Some of the Men and Dwarrow in the inn were from the last caravans which made the crossing of the Hithaeglir River this year. They had come to the inn in such a state that they – and their animals – were still recovering over a sennight later. This gave me pause – would my Elven ability to walk over most snow be enough? Or should I seek another route?

All I could do was wait. I was anxious to get to Bree, so I could restart my life. I hoped to get a job, and maybe a house by the time the child came. This was December and being three weeks gone I should be able to accomplish this if I made it to Bree by March. I hoped I would be able to get used to living in a town of Men, for I did not know their customs. Little did I know that I would experience one of their customs that night.

I had forgotten that today was the Winter Solstice. It appeared that Men had different customs then Elves in this, celebrating this event as the New Year and not the Spring Equinox as we did. I quietly observed the crowd of drunk Men getting drunker by the minute. We elves usually celebrated with a banquet and dancing. Sometimes in snow, sometimes in sleet, sometimes under a starry sky – depending on year. We did consume wine in quantities similar to those of the Men gathered here but we apparently held our liquor better than they did. I decided that now would be an opportune time to try and rest as I slipped out of the room before things got too rough.

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A/N

Hi! It's been a while! I had to rewrite this chapter, and I couldn't quite seem to get it just right, so a HUGE thanks goes to Borys for betaing this chapter! There's three more chapters to go in this, and those updates should come in the next few days! Starship T.A.R.D.I.S. out!


	9. Chapter 9

I was able to cross the mountains with no great difficulty, though it was a long journey. Few orcs remained here after the Battle, and fewer still once I made my way through the pass. All in all, it took me about a month to make my way through the mountains. I was more cautious in my path now, for Rivendell was nearby, and there might be scouts or patrols near the border, where I was. I did not wish to go to Rivendell, both because I did not wish to encounter any other Elves for fear of awkward encounters, and those who might wish myself and my child harm because of its heritage. I would surely be outcast if I even ventured near Rivendell if someone knew about Kili and I. I skirted Rivendell to the furthest extent I could, though it added a while to my journey. Finally, after nearly eight months of walking, I reached Bree.

I wandered through the town in the hopes that I could find somewhere to stay. Kili and I had no real plan after we arrived, we merely knew that we would. Perhaps he would have built me a house, and we would have stayed there together til the end of our days, but I know not that future. Instead, I am here in Bree without kin nor friends, nor aid. At least I was around people. It was refreshing to see another face, instead of tree after tree, though my forest was beloved to me. Eventually I made my way to what appeared to be a large inn called the Prancing Pony. I entered the inn, and saw it was a cozy place, with a large main room with a fireplace where people were eating and reveling and such. I walked around a bit, trying to find someone with whom I could arrange to stay, eventually stumbling, quite literally, on a Hobbit.

"I'm so sorry miss, so dreadfully sorry." Apologies came tumbling out of his mouth.

"It's nothing, I was the one who nearly tripped over you." I said.

"Still, so sorry miss. Are you looking for someone? You don't seem to be from around here." He said, and I bit back a sarcastic response in my head. Of course I'm not from around here, why else would I have an abundance of weapons, and obviously I'm looking for someone, why else would I be in the back rooms?

"Yes, I am from far away. Would you happen to know the owner? I wish to inquire about a room." I said.

"Yes, Mr. Butterbur would be right this way." He said, leading me to a back room, where there was a fat, bald man.

"Mr. Butterbur, sir, there is someone to see you." the Hobbit said.

"Yes, yes, lovely to meet you Miss..." The man, apparently known as Mr. Butterbur

"Tauriel." I said.

"I presume you'll be needing a room?" He said.

"Yes, for a few months." I said. Hopefully I would be able to find somewhere to stay and some employment by then.

"Are you sure you won't be needing to stay longer? I don't mean to question your judgment, but it looks as though in a few months you'll have a child." He said.

"Yes, hopefully by then I'll have found a house and some sort of employment by then." I sad.

"All right. Where are you from, it's been a while since we've seen an Elf around these parts, especially one such as yourself, with weapons and soon a child." He said.

"I am from Mirkwood." I said.

"That's an awfully long journey, you must have been determined to get here." he said with a smile.

"I had no place else to go." I said.

"It's a sad day when a women can't get help from her own people." He said.

"Yes, it is."I said, wondering how he knew I was exiled.

"Right, do you want your meals included with the room? Most people take them in the main room." He said.

"All right." I said.

"It'll be a gold piece a week for all that, long as you stay." He said.

"All right. Could you show me to the room?" I requested, and he did so, navigating through a few hallways and staircases until we reached a medium sized room, around as large as mine was back in Mirkwood, with a simple bed, chest of drawers and a nightstand.

"Evening meal starts at seven." He said, and left.

I took a deep breath. This was to be where I was to live for quite some time. I put everything I had away, noting the sparse amount. Oh well. I wouldn't have been able to carry much, and I had more then enough gold, as I had saved my money since I had entered the Guard, and gold does tend to accumulate over the centuries. I sat down on the bed. The smooth linens were a refreshing change from the hard ground that I had been sleeping on for the past eight months. Seeing as it was nearing seven, I made my way downstairs to the main room without getting too terribly lost.

There were all sorts of folk here, creating a tavern like atmosphere. There were Men, families, the odd peddler, trader, and wanderfolk. One thing was clear. There were no other elves, and I was again isolated in that respect. I surprisingly didn't attract much attention, most likely because I wasn't carrying most of my weapons. I chose a table near the back of the room, and reveled in the warmth of the fire. Eventually, the same Hobbit who I had nearly tripped over earlier came around with a plate of food, and set it before me, then hurried off to see to the needs of another guest. I looked at the food, simple bread and cheese, but it was like a feast to my eyes, as I had been eating solely lembas and the odd animal I could catch, but I was loathe to eat flesh. I ate the food, then sat back and watched the frenzy. In one corner of the room, some sort of drinking game was going on, while a few tables across from me there was a family having a pleasant meal out together, if one could call several arguing children being ignored by their parents pleasant. There were a few Hobbits bustling about the room, giving plenty of food and drink to those who wanted it. I looked in the back corner, and saw someone who looked rather familiar.

He was short, and stout, but for a Dwarf, that was completely natural. He had hair that was dark like Kili's and braided like his as well. Was it really him? Tears rushed to my eyes as I saw him turn around. He had a full beard. He was not my beloved, somehow miraculously saved from death's cruel blade. Kili was dead, buried beneath the cold ground. I was never to see him again, feel his warm embrace, or see his sweet smile. He was never again going to be able to braid my hair as we sat by in the light of the fire, or even see his child. The child, the child! Oh how I wish Kili were here with me, so I wouldn't be so alone! I would never fear, were he by my side, but he was not. I was here, in Bree, and he roamed the Halls of Mandos, without me, and I never to see him again for I was fated for a different place after death. I rushed out of the room as tears overtook me.

Halls of Mandos: Dwarven afterlife

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A/N Hi! She finally made it to Bree! I'm not very good with Middle Earth geography, so the travel time is completely estimated. The rest of the fic will be finished in two short chapters, so get ready for a whirlwind finish! Starship T.A.R.D.I.S. out!


	10. Chapter 10

stayed in my room as I sobbed over and over again. I missed Kili so much. It wasn't fair that we had so short of a time together! All I wanted was to be with him, but I couldn't! I just wanted to have somebody who cares about me, instead of having to stay with strangers. I cried myself to sleep, and entered a terrible nightmare.

I was back there; on the battlefield. I wasn't where I was fought before though. I was standing next to Kili. I had my weapons, but they were just ineffective as my enemy's blades were against me. I shouted, "Kili!" but he didn't respond. He couldn't hear me, or see me, nor feel my touch. It was torture to be so near to him, yet so far away. I saw a monstrous orc coming towards us. It was Bolg, son of Azgog. He was the one who killed Kili. Enraged, forgetting my weapons were ineffective on my enemies, I swung at Bolg. It had no effect on him, and his sword went through Kili's heart. "No, no!" I sobbed, and held him in my arms as he died. He was dead, dead, dead! I woke with a bloodcurdling scream, covered in a cold sweat. I heard a knock on the door.

"Are you all right?" Said the voice at the door.

"Yes, I'm all right. I just had a...difficult dream." I said, my voice shaky.

"Are you sure? That was quite a scream." It said.

"I am fine." I said. I heard the person walk away, and started crying again. I couldn't live without him but I had to live for the child! I wished he was here with me to see it...see our child. I simply cried.

The next day, I was treated no differently than any other person here, and I was grateful for that. I was not sure how I would be treated after waking most everyone in the inn up in the middle of the night with my scream. I tried to shake the dream, but I still felt as though any other moment I might relive it. After the morning meal I decided to wander about the town and see if there were any places who might hire me, as my gold would not last forever and I was going to have the child soon, in less then three months now.

I wandered around, but no one seemed interested in hiring me. It was only the first day of my search however, and I wasn't too discouraged. I would try again tomorrow.

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Hi! This is the second to last chapter of this story! I can't wait to post the last chapter, it's a real killer! It'll be posted in the next couple of days! Starship T.A.R.D.I.S. out!


	11. Chapter 11

Three months passed. I was not entirely sure when I was going to give birth, for Elves carry for a year, but I did not know how long dwarves carried for, but judging by the swollen state of my abdomen, which was near bursting, I was going to give birth any day now. In my wanderings, I had found a job, and had been working up until a week or so ago. I had also found someone to help me once the process started, and I was rather nervous. I still missed Kili, and wished he was with me for this. I was resting in my room when I felt the first pain.

That first pain was the first of many, in a labor which seemed to last forever. I cried out again and again, both in pain and for Kili, but the pain did not stop and Kili did not come. In the end...I did not know it was possible for a being to be so small. The baby boy was small, the length of my forearm. I called him Daran, which meant little one. He had pointed elfin ears like mine, but a full head of hair that was dark and coarse like Kili's. He had jade green eyes like mine, and he was perfect but no sound escaped from his lungs. No breath passed through his lips, and his heart did not beat. He was dead. I cradled his body in my arms. He couldn't be dead, not him too, not the reason I had not yet passed from this earth, not my son, no, no! I started to sob and I kissed his forehead. If only he was alive...my heart broke then. My love dead, our child gone, exiled from my homeland never to return, all hope lost! I faded. My soul passed from this world to be once again with the Valar, the soul of my child journeying with me. I was never fated to see Kili again...my love.

Valar: Elven higher power

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So that's the ending! Told you it was a killer! It's slightly depressing, but I literally wrote this to try my hand at killing off characters (it's saved as everybody dies on my computer)! Let me know what you think by reviewing and favoriting! Starship T.A.R.D.I.S. out!


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